🎙️ Episode 6: My Boss Thinks I’m Lazy, But I Have ADHD

Apr 11

Published: 4.10.25
Duration: 4 Minutes
Category: Mental Health, ADHD, Workplace

🎧 Listen Now

📝 Episode Summary

If you’ve ever stared at a task for hours, felt overwhelmed by a simple to-do list, or had performance reviews that made you want to scream—you might be navigating the world with an ADHD brain. In this episode, we break down what executive dysfunction really looks like, why shame thrives in neurodivergent workplaces, and how to start rewriting the lazy narrative with truth and self-compassion.

✨ You’ll Learn:

What executive dysfunction actually feels like (it’s not laziness)
Why ADHD and the modern workplace are a terrible match
How to start advocating for accommodations and self-trust

🧠 Try This After You Listen:

Write down one task you’ve been avoiding. Instead of blaming yourself, ask: What barrier might be making this feel impossible? Try changing your environment, using a body double, or setting a two-minute timer.

today we’re talking about one of the most misunderstood dynamics out there: living and working with ADHD in a world that thinks “lazy” is a personality flaw.
If you have ADHD—or even just ADHD traits—you probably already know the pain of being called lazy, scattered, disorganized, or inconsistent. You try so hard, all the time, but the follow-through just isn’t always there. And when people don’t see the invisible labor behind your effort, it’s easy for them to assume you’re just not trying.
Let’s get this out of the way early: ADHD isn’t a motivation problem. It’s a regulation problem. You’re not unmotivated—you just can’t always access your motivation on demand. Executive functioning—the brain system that helps with planning, prioritizing, remembering steps, initiating tasks, and managing time—is disrupted. And that disruption? It’s real. It affects everything from starting your laundry to managing your inbox to finishing that project you were so excited about two weeks ago.
Now imagine trying to explain this to your boss, who sees your missed deadlines and inconsistent productivity and thinks, “Why don’t they just try harder?” It’s painful. It’s demoralizing. And it can trigger a shame spiral that makes the symptoms even worse. Because here’s the thing: shame shuts down executive functioning even more. So the more judged you feel, the harder it is to function—and the more likely people are to double down on the judgment. It's a vicious cycle.
And then there’s the internalized part. Because after years—maybe decades—of being told you’re flaky, careless, or dramatic, part of you starts to believe it. You may tell yourself: “I should be able to do this,” or “I just need to try harder.” And suddenly, the ADHD isn’t the biggest problem anymore. The shame is.
So what do you do when your brain works differently, but the world expects you to perform like a neurotypical robot?
First: start with self-compassion. I know that sounds fluffy, but it’s not. It’s strategy. Compassion regulates the nervous system. And regulation improves executive functioning. You can’t punish yourself into productivity. But you can support yourself into it.
Second: work with your brain, not against it. That means using external supports like visual reminders, body doubling, timers, and breaking things into absurdly small tasks. It also means understanding when your brain needs stimulation and when it needs rest. Sometimes the task isn’t “write the report.” It’s “open the doc.” That counts.
Third: if you're in a workplace that doesn’t understand ADHD, you might need to advocate for accommodations. That could mean flexible deadlines, noise-canceling headphones, breaking meetings into smaller chunks, or changing how feedback is delivered. You don’t have to prove your worth by masking your needs.
And finally: remind yourself, again and again, that your worth is not tied to your output. You are not lazy. You are living in a world that often doesn’t understand your nervous system. And that’s not a personal failing—it’s a structural mismatch.