How to Find the Right Therapist for You
Therapy isn’t something to take lightly
Therapy can help you get to the root of what’s going on and feel better, mentally and physically. The tricky part is finding the right therapist, because “qualified” and “good fit” aren’t always the same thing. The goal is someone you trust, someone who understands your needs, and someone whose style supports the kind of change you’re hoping for.
Searching for a therapist
There are many different types of therapists, and it’s worth taking a little time to find one who fits you.
Start with a therapist you can trust
Look for someone who is licensed in the state where you’re located. Licensing matters because it confirms baseline training, ethical requirements, and accountability. It also helps you avoid wasted time with someone who isn’t legally able to provide therapy where you live.
Also check the logistics early so there are no surprises later. A few things to confirm up front:
Fees and payment options
Cancellation and late policy
Session length and frequency
Telehealth availability if you need it
Whether they provide superbills
If you plan to use insurance, confirm whether they’re in-network or out-of-network, what your estimated cost per session looks like, and what your plan requires.
Look for someone who can help with your specific issues
A therapist can be competent and still not be the right match for your main concern. Anxiety, depression, grief, relationship stress, substance use, burnout, and identity concerns all require different skill sets and approaches.
When you’re reading a website or directory listing, look past the generic “I help with stress” language. Better signals look like:
They describe your problem in a way that feels accurate and specific
They explain what sessions focus on (skills, patterns, behavior change, nervous system support, relationships)
They name approaches they use and how those approaches help with your concern
You’re looking for “they get it,” not “they list it.”
Pay attention to red flags in the first meeting
You don’t need to force yourself to stay with a therapist who gives you an uneasy feeling. Therapy works best when you feel safe enough to be honest, and your body often notices lack of safety before your brain explains why.
Red flags can be obvious, like feeling judged, dismissed, or talked over. They can also be subtle, like feeling rushed, pressured, or like the therapist is making assumptions without asking questions.
If something feels off, you’re allowed to walk away and keep looking.
Ask around for recommendations
Referrals reduce the overwhelm of endless searching, and they often lead you toward therapists with a solid reputation.
Ask friends and family
If you feel comfortable, ask people you trust if they’ve worked with a therapist they’d recommend. If they say yes, ask a couple of follow-up questions so you understand the fit:
What did you like about their style?
Did sessions feel structured or more open-ended?
What were they especially helpful with?
If someone had a bad experience, that information can still help you clarify what you want to avoid.
Expand beyond your immediate circle
You don’t have to limit recommendations to friends and family. Other useful places to look:
Your primary care provider
An employee assistance program (EAP) if you have one
Local community mental health resources
Professional directories and therapy collectives
Local LGBTQ+ centers if affirming care is important to you
Ask your primary physician
If you have a primary care provider you trust, they may have a short list of reputable therapists in your area. They may also know who is taking new clients, which saves time.
This is also a helpful step if your anxiety has a strong physical component. A healthcare provider can help rule out medical factors that can look like anxiety, like sleep disruption, thyroid issues, or medication side effects. Therapy still helps, but it’s easier to make progress when you’re not fighting an untreated medical contributor.
Look at their specialties and expertise
A license tells you someone is qualified. Experience tells you what they’ve actually spent years treating.
Look for a therapist who regularly works with your concern
If you’re looking for support with anxiety, depression, panic, OCD, burnout, grief, relationship stress, or substance use, look for a therapist who clearly states they work with those issues and describes what treatment looks like.
Read beyond the bullet list. A therapist who understands your concern usually describes:
What the problem looks like day to day
Common patterns that keep it going
What they focus on in sessions
What progress tends to look like over time
If your issue isn’t listed, ask directly
Websites can’t list everything. If something is central to your care and it isn’t mentioned, ask before you commit.
Useful questions include:
Have you worked with this concern before?
What does your approach look like with it?
If it turns out this is outside your scope, what happens next?
A strong therapist won’t pretend to be an expert in everything. They’ll be honest, thoughtful, and clear about how they’d support you, including consulting or referring out if needed.
Don’t settle out of panic
When you’re struggling, it’s tempting to grab the first available opening. If you can tolerate a little extra effort up front, you’re more likely to find a therapist who fits.
You’re allowed to talk to more than one therapist. You’re allowed to ask questions. You’re allowed to switch if it’s not working.
A good fit usually feels like: you feel respected, you feel understood, and you feel like there’s a plan you can actually follow.
About the Author
Taylor Garff, M.Coun, LCPC, CMHC, LPC, is a licensed therapist with over 10 years of experience helping adults manage anxiety, overwhelm, and identity challenges. He is certified in HeartMath, Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), and breathwork facilitation. Taylor is the founder of Inner Heart Therapy, where he provides online therapy across multiple states.
Updated: December 12, 2025
