Feeling Unsafe in Your Body: What That Can Look Like
Feeling unsafe in your body does not always show up as panic attacks. Many people with anxiety describe a quieter, constant unease.
Examples:
A sense of floating slightly outside your body
Tension in jaw, shoulders, or stomach that never fully releases
Trouble resting because stillness brings an uneasy feeling
A sense of “something is wrong,” even when nothing obvious changed
Friends might say you seem fine. A doctor might say everything looks normal. Meanwhile, a private battle runs underneath daily life.
Why a body can stop feeling like home
A body learns from every season of life. Stress, health problems, family conflict, identity struggles, or trauma all shape body memory. Over time, a nervous system may start treating regular life as a threat.
Some common influences:
Growing up with criticism or emotional chaos
Experiencing bullying, harassment, or social exclusion
Living in a body that receives bias or judgment
Health scares or chronic symptoms
Long periods of pushing through exhaustion without rest
Someone who grew up closeted or hiding important parts of self often learns to disconnect from the body to stay safer. Someone with chronic illness may learn to treat body sensations as enemy messages.
None of these responses show personal failure. Each response grew from a nervous system trying to protect a person through real stress.
Read more: What Is the Role of the Nervous System in Chronic Anxiety?
A nervous system view of body safety
From a nervous system perspective, body safety relates to states, not character. A nervous system shifts between:
Connection and calm
Mobilization and fight-or-flight
Collapse and shutdown
When life includes repeated stress, discrimination, grief, or fear, the system spends more time in survival states. Muscles brace. Breath becomes shallow. Awareness narrows toward threat.
Spending long stretches in those states changes how a body feels from the inside. Calm feels unfamiliar. Relaxation triggers suspicion. Tension feels more comfortable than softness simply because tension feels familiar.
Read more: Why Feeling Safe in Your Own Body Can Feel Impossible (And How to Change That)
Signs your nervous system stays on high alert
Some signs of a nervous system that spends a lot of time in fight-or-flight or freeze:
Startling easily with noises or movement
Feeling on edge during normal tasks
Trouble focusing because part of the mind scans for danger
Difficulty relaxing even during safe moments
Dissociation, spacing out, or feeling far away
Many people blame personality for these patterns. A nervous system view offers a different story. A body learned to stay ready and never received enough consistent cues of safety to shift out of that stance.
Read more: Signs Your Nervous System Is In Overdrive And How To Reset
Small steps toward more body safety
Large, dramatic changes often feel overwhelming for a sensitive nervous system. Small, consistent steps tend to work better. The goal is not perfect calm. The goal is more moments where your body feels slightly more settled than before.
Step 1: Notice body cues with less judgment
Many people either ignore body sensations or judge them harshly. A new approach focuses on simple noticing.
Questions that help:
Where shows tension most often
Where holds warmth or softness
Which sensations feel neutral
A brief check-in for thirty seconds once or twice daily builds awareness without pushing too hard.
Step 2: Use breath, touch, or temperature on purpose
Regulation tools do not need to feel fancy. Simple, repeatable actions help a nervous system shift toward greater safety.
Examples:
Placing a hand on the chest or over the heart area and noticing warmth
Lengthening exhale slightly during out-breath
Using a warm drink, cool washcloth, or shower for gentle temperature change
Pressing feet into the floor and feeling contact with ground
Step 3: Choose environments that feel “good enough”
Body safety does not require perfect spaces. Relief often comes from “good enough” safety.
Questions to explore:
Which rooms at home feel softer or kinder
Which social spaces leave your body calmer afterward
Where does your nervous system relax slightly without much effort
Leaning toward these places more often, even for short periods, gives your system more chances to experience safety.
Step 4: Include co-regulation on purpose
Bodies regulate with other bodies. Supportive people, animals, and communities all influence nervous system state.
Examples of co-regulation:
Sitting with someone who breathes slowly and feels steady
Talking with a friend who offers warmth instead of fixes
Sharing quiet time with a partner, housemate, or pet
Not every relationship offers this kind of safety. Therapy explores which relationships support nervous system regulation and which relationships drain resources.
How therapy supports work around body safety
Working on body safety alone often feels confusing or discouraging. Guidance provides structure, language, and steady feedback.
Therapy sessions focused on nervous system care may include:
Mapping personal patterns on a nervous system ladder
Identifying triggers which send your body toward high alert or shutdown
Practicing grounding tools together in session
Exploring beliefs learned from family, culture, or past experiences
Building plans for daily life where your body receives more cues of safety
A therapist with a polyvagal and somatic lens respects how protective responses formed. Goals center on increasing choice. Instead of one automatic survival response, you gain more options.
Read more: What Is Co-Regulation And Why Does It Matter For Therapy
Getting support to feel safer in your body
When a body never feels like a safe place, every part of life takes more effort. Work, parenting, relationships, sleep, and health all sit on top of that constant strain. A nervous system that carried so much for so long deserves care.
I work with anxious, deep-feeling adults who want a kinder relationship with their body and nervous system. Sessions happen online across Idaho, Colorado, Utah, Connecticut, Florida, Delaware, or South Carolina, with a focus on practical support, nervous system education, and genuine affirmation.
If this speaks to you, read more about anxiety therapy with me, then send a short note through my contact form so we can see whether our work together feels like a good next step.
About the Author
Taylor Garff, M.Coun, LCPC, CMHC, LPC, is a licensed therapist with over 10 years of experience helping adults manage anxiety, overwhelm, and identity challenges. He is certified in HeartMath, Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), and breathwork facilitation. Taylor is the founder of Inner Heart Therapy, where he provides online therapy across multiple states.
