Why Society Doesn’t Understand Gender Fluidity And How To Live Your Identity Anyway
If you’re reading this, you’ve undoubtedly taken a lot of time to consider your gender. How do you present yourself to the world? How do you want to present yourself? Do you identify as a man, woman, or a different gender entirely?
Gender fluidity is a change over time in how a person expresses their gender or how they identify. It can refer to one or both of those things, and it can continue to change for the rest of your life.
Some people consider themselves gender fluid because they identify as something different from the gender assigned to them at birth, but they don’t necessarily feel like the opposite gender, either.
On paper, gender fluidity is fairly easy to understand. So, why does society have such a hard time with it? More importantly, how can you continue to live your truth?
Confusion and Clarity
One of the biggest reasons people tend to have a hard time with gender fluidity is due to a lack of permanence. As a whole, people tend to like it when things are more concrete and certain. Fluidity of any kind represents consistent change, and there are plenty of people who struggle with that.
Gender fluidity is also an “unknown” term for many. They don’t fully understand what it means, leading to some confusion and a lack of clarity. While some people are eager to learn what it means to clear up that confusion, others are prone to putting walls up.
People tend to block out the unknown as a defense mechanism. After all, the unknown is often what fuels anxiety, so it’s not uncommon for people to want to eliminate as many of those “unknown” factors in their lives as possible. Unfortunately, that often leads to ignorance, more confusion, mislabeling, and even discrimination.
Common Misconceptions
Another reason society tends to be confused about gender fluidity is that there are several common misconceptions associated with it. For starters, many people believe that gender fluidity and gender neutrality are the same things. Obviously, that isn’t true, as gender fluidity allows for more flexibility and adaptability.
Another common misconception is that gender fluidity is just a phase. While your idea of your own gender can change and adapt over time, the fluidity itself is something that feels quite concrete to the person going through it. It’s not a phase, fad, or something flippant someone thinks about, and that’s not always easy for people to understand.
What Can You Do?
There’s no question that it can be hard to live your identity in a world that doesn’t seem to understand gender fluidity. One of the best things you can do to combat the confusion from society is to surround yourself with a support system.
Spend time with people who understand gender fluidity and how you might feel. Join local organizations and support groups, or find those groups online so you can connect with others across the country.
Education and awareness are key. Many people don’t understand gender fluidity but want to learn. Start by educating your friends and family. The people who love you will want to be there to support you, and they’ll be able to do that more effectively when they understand fluidity.
Finally, don’t hesitate to take care of yourself. When life feels frustrating, overwhelming, or even a little bit scary, self-care is essential.
Prioritize your well-being, and make sure you’re talking to someone about your feelings. That could be a family member, friend, or a mental health professional. If you’re struggling with some of the societal confusion surrounding gender fluidity, let’s work together to develop strategies you can use to overcome those struggles.
Learn more about LGBTQ+ Therapy.
About the Author
Taylor Garff, M.Coun, LCPC, CMHC, LPC, is a licensed therapist with over 10 years of experience helping adults manage anxiety, overwhelm, and identity challenges. He is certified in HeartMath, Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), and breathwork facilitation. Taylor is the founder of Inner Heart Therapy, where he provides online therapy across multiple states.
