🎙️ Episode 1: Your Nervous System is Running the Show (And It Didn’t Ask for Your Opinion)

Published: 4.10.25
Duration: 6 minutes
Category: Mental Health, Anxiety, Polyvagal Theory

🎧 Listen Now

🧠 Episode Summary

Think you’re just overthinking? Think again your nervous system might be behind the wheel. In this very first episode, we break down the basics of how your body reacts to stress, why you can’t just “think your way out” of anxiety, and what it actually means to feel regulated.

You’ll learn why humming and orienting are more powerful than you’d expect, how to spot your stress states, and why it’s not your fault if you freeze up in line at the grocery store.

✍️ In This Episode, I Cover:

• What the autonomic nervous system actually does

• How it affects your anxiety, focus, and energy

• The three states of nervous system activation (safe, fight/flight, shutdown)

• Why your body reacts before your brain catches up

• Tools you can try today: humming, orienting, co-regulation

✅ Things to Try After This Episode

Give one or more of these a shot in the next few days to start noticing your nervous system in action:

• Try humming for 30 seconds and notice if your breath or energy shifts.

• Practice orienting: Sit quietly and look around the room. Slowly name five things you see.

• Check in with your state: Are you feeling safe, amped, or shut down right now? No judgment just notice.

• Spend time with someone calming (even virtually). Notice how your body feels during and after.

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• Transcript

  today we’re kicking things off with one of the most foundational truths of this whole nervous system and mental health thing: your autonomic nervous system is in charge. Like, fully running the show. And it didn’t exactly consult you before doing so.

  Let’s start with the basics. You have this part of your body called the autonomic nervous system—"autonomic" meaning automatic. It’s the part of you that keeps your heart beating, your digestion working, and your breathing going without you having to think about it. But here’s the kicker—it also handles your stress response. Whether you feel calm, anxious, frozen, or like you’re about to rip someone’s head off in a grocery store line... that’s your nervous system, doing its thing.

  Now, Polyvagal Theory—developed by Stephen Porges—helps us understand that the nervous system isn’t just “on or off.” It actually has three major states it can cycle through. First, there’s ventral vagal, also known as the "safe and social" state. This is where you feel grounded, connected, clear-headed—you’re regulated. This is the zone where you feel like, “Okay, I got this.”

  Then there’s the sympathetic state—aka fight or flight. This is when your nervous system is like, “Danger! Run! Or fight back!” Your heart races, your muscles tense, your thoughts might get fast and panicky. It’s not always a full-blown panic attack, but it’s that activated, amped-up feeling like you can’t relax or you need to do something immediately.

  And finally, there’s the dorsal vagal state—this is the freeze or shutdown mode. Everything slows down. You might feel disconnected from your body, zoned out, foggy, or just emotionally numb. You’re still here, technically, but you’re not all here, you know?

  Here’s what’s wild: your nervous system is scanning for safety or danger all the time, in the background, whether or not you’re aware of it. This is called neuroception—it’s your body’s automatic detection system. And it’s not asking your conscious brain for input. It’s just reacting. So when you say, “I don’t know why I freaked out” or “I knew I was safe but my body didn’t get the memo,” yeah—that’s because your nervous system is making split-second decisions behind the scenes. It’s trying to protect you, even if the threat isn’t actually real.

  This is especially true if you’ve lived through trauma, chronic stress, or if you’re neurodivergent. Your system might be a little jumpy. It flags things as dangerous that aren’t. A neutral tone from your partner? Your boss asking to talk? Even trying to rest when you’re not used to calm? All of those can send your nervous system into red alert. And again, none of this is about logic. It’s biology. You’re not broken—you’re wired for survival.

  So now that we know the nervous system is running the show, the next question is: what can you actually do about it? Because while you can’t stop your nervous system from reacting, you can teach it how to feel safer over time.

  One way is through vagus nerve toning. Things like humming, singing, gargling—yeah, I know it sounds weird, but trust me—those actions stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps your system shift into a more regulated state. Seriously, try humming in the car sometime. It’s low effort, no one has to know, and it works.

  Another tool is orienting. This means literally turning your head, looking around the room, noticing what’s around you. It tells your body, “Hey, we’re not in danger. This is now. We’re okay.” It’s like updating your internal software to the present moment.

  And finally, co-regulation. This one’s huge. Spend time with someone who feels safe—whether that’s a friend, a pet, or even just being near calm people in a coffee shop. Nervous systems sync up. Being around regulation helps your system find its own regulation.

  Here’s what I want you to take away from this: you’re not overreacting, and you’re not imagining it. Your body’s trying to keep you alive the best way it knows how. And you can build more flexibility in your system so that you don’t stay stuck in fight, flight, or freeze.

  This work isn’t about fixing you—it’s about helping you feel more like yourself. More grounded. More here. And I promise, it’s possible.

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